Joke

>1. A 95 year old man sucks his 90 year old wife's breast for half and hour and drinks 2 drops of
> milk.
> POSTMORTEM REPORT - death due to drinking milk after EXPIRY DATE !!
>
>2. Husband reading a book on bed with wife beside. His finger went to tease wife's pussy.
> Wife ask "you want sex"?
> Husband answer "No", just want to wet my finger to turn the page.
>
>3. Rooster and Cat going over bridge. Cat slips & falls into river. Rooster can't stop laughing.
> Moral of story? Whenever there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock.
>
>4. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant !!
> Which Male pencil is responsible? THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
>
>5. Girls' reaction to penis sizes:
> 9" : Oh shit, pain !
> 7" : Oh yes, shiok !
> 6" : Ohhh, perfect !
> 5" : Ohmm, Ok !
> 4" : Push more !
> 3" : Is it in?
> 2" : Idiot ! just use your tongue !
>
>6. Thank you for calling 1900- NEEDSEX hotline.
> For hot sex press 1.
> For breast sex press 2.
> For combo sex press 3.
> For oral sex press 4.
> To end this call press your Balls !!
>
>7. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings!
> "YES".. OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says,
> THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.
>
>8. 3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
> Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
> Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
> Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!
>
>9. What's the most difficult GOLF COURSE in this world?
> Answer : INTER COURSE.
> Reason: No matter how many strokes or what style you play, your balls will never go in !!
>
>10. FACT : Women can get a 2 inch wide penis into a 1.5 inch vagina in
> pitchdarkness, but can't get a fucking 15 feet car into a 40ft parking space in broad daylight !!
>
>11. Teacher asked : Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
> A kid name Johnny reply... the LEGS.. because everynight I see my
> mum's legs up high and and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING....
>
>12. COCK says to his two BALLS : I am going to take you with me to party.
> BALLS said : You fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE !!!
>
>13. 3 Guys were introduced to a girl.
> Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.
> I'm Paul not a POPE.
> I'm John not a Baptist...
> The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.
>
>14. Q: Why do men have pubic hair?
> A: A nest for their bird...
> Q: Why do women have pubic hair?
> A: A resting place for the coming bird !!!
>
>15. What does it mean when a girl offers PEPSI to a guy :
> P : Please
> E : Enter
> P : Penis
> S : Slowly
> I : Inside
>
>16. Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.
> Mistresses are Tomyams.. Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
> WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!
>
>17. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as
> CHICKEN FARMER.
> She replied : I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
>
>18. A Girl who opens her hand receives gifts.
> Open her heart receives love.
> But when she opens her legs, she receives happiness.
>
>19. Yesterday's News:- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
> Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
>
>20. Why do Indians talk non stop?
> Guess....
> Still dunno?
> Ok lah....
> Answer : Bcos they left their full stop on their forehead.
>