Who the ku ku block do la mi!
Might that dogs. who know! dog know!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
New Cousre
The new dog coach induction dog course for all new dog coaches who wish to obtain the professional dog coach pass will be held as follows:
Date : 26/01/2009
Time : 0.00hrs to 0600hrs
Place : Internationals Dog Training Centre near Lim Chu Kang.
Fee : Pay as much as you can. We don’t con ppl.
Eligibility : Qualification if you l@@K like dog.
Closing date for
Registration : On that day. All dogs are welcome.
It is a requirement for all newly dog coaches to attend the new induction doggy course if they wish to apply the dog coach pass which will entitle them to accompany their doggy to our competition arena to short one another.
The dog pass also affirms that the dog holder is qualified doing doggy coach who has pledged to observe the highest code of dog ethics and we promised to be current in their technical knowledge liping ass and coaching methods of dipping ass. In short, all dogs is truly a professional dog coach and the best doggy coach. Instead of the usual shouts which accompanied kissing ASS and dipping Ass, screams like cia bo and shout like ah kun where can heard at our Internationals Dog Training Centre on that day. No one will be tortured may be! and badly injured just only Ass. It was the times of the year end when all dog members of the training dog squad and the Assisi dog warriors to celebrated CNY at the place they prepare sweat ur under wear their kuku bird and body of Ass for battle.
Wishing all a happy and prosperous CNY 2009.
Date : 26/01/2009
Time : 0.00hrs to 0600hrs
Place : Internationals Dog Training Centre near Lim Chu Kang.
Fee : Pay as much as you can. We don’t con ppl.
Eligibility : Qualification if you l@@K like dog.
Closing date for
Registration : On that day. All dogs are welcome.
It is a requirement for all newly dog coaches to attend the new induction doggy course if they wish to apply the dog coach pass which will entitle them to accompany their doggy to our competition arena to short one another.
The dog pass also affirms that the dog holder is qualified doing doggy coach who has pledged to observe the highest code of dog ethics and we promised to be current in their technical knowledge liping ass and coaching methods of dipping ass. In short, all dogs is truly a professional dog coach and the best doggy coach. Instead of the usual shouts which accompanied kissing ASS and dipping Ass, screams like cia bo and shout like ah kun where can heard at our Internationals Dog Training Centre on that day. No one will be tortured may be! and badly injured just only Ass. It was the times of the year end when all dog members of the training dog squad and the Assisi dog warriors to celebrated CNY at the place they prepare sweat ur under wear their kuku bird and body of Ass for battle.
Wishing all a happy and prosperous CNY 2009.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I use Mirror
Hi All
I'm the canon here. Don't things I don't know that's U all talking about me.
I already Say I don't con ppl, as I told to them their comply do not give them this pries. I'm best selling pries in ours comply, best JB and best BP.
You all say, when I go si si that's I can't see my ku ku bird right! Because I do have a big belly right!
You all are wrong man! I have ideas one ok! I have a way to see where my ku ku bird hide (ku ku bird to small).
To avert other see what I'm doing. I go to the toilet, I close the door when I si si time, I use mirror to see, so I can find where my ku ku bird hide.
If I ready still find where my ku ku bird hide. I ask my Hua Hua to put out for me only ma!
I'm the canon here. Don't things I don't know that's U all talking about me.
I already Say I don't con ppl, as I told to them their comply do not give them this pries. I'm best selling pries in ours comply, best JB and best BP.
You all say, when I go si si that's I can't see my ku ku bird right! Because I do have a big belly right!
You all are wrong man! I have ideas one ok! I have a way to see where my ku ku bird hide (ku ku bird to small).
To avert other see what I'm doing. I go to the toilet, I close the door when I si si time, I use mirror to see, so I can find where my ku ku bird hide.
If I ready still find where my ku ku bird hide. I ask my Hua Hua to put out for me only ma!
Please fill your application form;
NAME: Canon
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at last one who will cooperate)
DESRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, what eve’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PERVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILBALE TO WORK: Any!
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3;30 pm. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50Ibs: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITIO?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job – No! On my breaks – Yes!
WHAT WOYLD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDAGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at last one who will cooperate)
DESRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, what eve’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PERVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILBALE TO WORK: Any!
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3;30 pm. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50Ibs: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITIO?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job – No! On my breaks – Yes!
WHAT WOYLD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDAGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
I’m not your Doggy man!
Dear Mr Dog Sir.
We are not your doggy. So don’t ask us to do where u 1 2.
Your are their Doggy. But we are not.
You do not might your own words what you have say.
Don’t think that you have very big mount behind for you to letting.
So U can abuse mount.
Ask ppl to do planning, at the end still use your same old planning of last yrs things.
No new kiss and no new creative kiss. Always use the old same things again. Got abit new la, but those new kids can’t do it, ask them to do jumping kiss which they just passed only. You think that they have wings that’s they can fly.
I know you can do better than us, that Y u are their dog. We r not.
Alway ask doggy come here, doggy go there, doggy kick my Ass. U alway do tat! U R so pro! We r not!
We don't how to do it! We are not like u!
You know how to do WuLong WuShi. We don’t know how to it!
You Using the WuShi so u can lip the dog Ass. Kick their Ass.We don’t know how to it!
That's what we do not 1 2 learn frm u!
We are don’t again any ppl.
We are the only holdlee innocent one!
We are not your doggy. So don’t ask us to do where u 1 2.
Your are their Doggy. But we are not.
You do not might your own words what you have say.
Don’t think that you have very big mount behind for you to letting.
So U can abuse mount.
Ask ppl to do planning, at the end still use your same old planning of last yrs things.
No new kiss and no new creative kiss. Always use the old same things again. Got abit new la, but those new kids can’t do it, ask them to do jumping kiss which they just passed only. You think that they have wings that’s they can fly.
I know you can do better than us, that Y u are their dog. We r not.
Alway ask doggy come here, doggy go there, doggy kick my Ass. U alway do tat! U R so pro! We r not!
We don't how to do it! We are not like u!
You know how to do WuLong WuShi. We don’t know how to it!
You Using the WuShi so u can lip the dog Ass. Kick their Ass.We don’t know how to it!
That's what we do not 1 2 learn frm u!
We are don’t again any ppl.
We are the only holdlee innocent one!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Lunar New Year
Ours CC MC is cordially inviting all Dogs to our Lunar New Year Celebrations
on the 32th January 2009 at 12.00pm at our newly building the International Training Dog Centre near to Lim Chu Kang.
We have dog poop for you.
All have bring your own candle, lighter, chop stir, burning paper and ext toilet roll for your own making moon cake on open air.
We hope all dogs can attend for this celebration, so we can make it a Triumphant.
Wishing all a happy Chinese new year and prosperous CNY 2009.
on the 32th January 2009 at 12.00pm at our newly building the International Training Dog Centre near to Lim Chu Kang.
We have dog poop for you.
All have bring your own candle, lighter, chop stir, burning paper and ext toilet roll for your own making moon cake on open air.
We hope all dogs can attend for this celebration, so we can make it a Triumphant.
Wishing all a happy Chinese new year and prosperous CNY 2009.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
新加坡人分成几种
新加坡人分成几种:
1。没钱到要死
2。没钱，不过没事
3。有钱，不过等于没钱
4。很有钱
5。有钱到要死
一楼说的对。
朱门酒肉臭，路有冻死骨。
Do people do mistake,
People know it’s mistake,
People understand it’s mistake,
People realized it’s mistake,
People know it’s a mistake still make the mistake!
Do people learn from mistake?
1。没钱到要死
2。没钱，不过没事
3。有钱，不过等于没钱
4。很有钱
5。有钱到要死
一楼说的对。
朱门酒肉臭，路有冻死骨。
Do people do mistake,
People know it’s mistake,
People understand it’s mistake,
People realized it’s mistake,
People know it’s a mistake still make the mistake!
Do people learn from mistake?
Not very true of me! Very true of Me!
Take a look at these statements, and for each slide the icon to show how true or untrue it is for you.Don't worry, there are no right or wrong answers.
Not very true of me! Very true of me!
When I hear good dance music, I can hardly keep still
My laugh is soft and subdued
I can easily express emotion over the telephone
I often touch friends on the arm during conversations
I dislike being watched by a large group of people
I usually have a neutral facial expression
People tell me that I would make a good actor or actress
I like to remain unnoticed in a crowd
I am shy among strangers
I am able to give a seductive glance if I want to
I am terrible at pantomime, like in games such as charades
At small parties I am the centre of attention
I show that I like someone by hugging or touching that person
Not very true of me! Very true of me!
When I hear good dance music, I can hardly keep still
My laugh is soft and subdued
I can easily express emotion over the telephone
I often touch friends on the arm during conversations
I dislike being watched by a large group of people
I usually have a neutral facial expression
People tell me that I would make a good actor or actress
I like to remain unnoticed in a crowd
I am shy among strangers
I am able to give a seductive glance if I want to
I am terrible at pantomime, like in games such as charades
At small parties I am the centre of attention
I show that I like someone by hugging or touching that person
VERY Important Msg for all mobile phone users
Subject: VERY Important Msg for all mobile phone users,
Don't press #90 or #09 If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person, saying that, that they're checking your mobile line, and you have to press # 90 or #09 or any other number.End this call immediately without pressing any numbers.
There is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90 or #09 they can access your 'SIM' card and make calls at your expense. Forward this message to as many friends as you can, to stop it. This information has been confirmed by both Motorola and Nokia.
There are over 3 Million mobile phones being infected by this virus in all around the world now.
We don't con pp HP. We use pp line free together. So we not need in 3months time change HP.
Then we can save $ to change car.
Privileged/ Confidential information may be contained in this message. If you are not the intended recipient, you must not copy, distribute or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person. Please notify the sender immediately if you receive this in error.
Don't press #90 or #09 If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person, saying that, that they're checking your mobile line, and you have to press # 90 or #09 or any other number.End this call immediately without pressing any numbers.
There is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90 or #09 they can access your 'SIM' card and make calls at your expense. Forward this message to as many friends as you can, to stop it. This information has been confirmed by both Motorola and Nokia.
There are over 3 Million mobile phones being infected by this virus in all around the world now.
We don't con pp HP. We use pp line free together. So we not need in 3months time change HP.
Then we can save $ to change car.
Privileged/ Confidential information may be contained in this message. If you are not the intended recipient, you must not copy, distribute or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person. Please notify the sender immediately if you receive this in error.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
All Are Welcome My Ang Ka Ka House
Dear Member
Due to Economic not so Good this years.
This coming Chinese New Year, you all still can welcome to My Ang Ka Ka house.
When you coming inside, you must bring 2 orange.
When on the way to my house, please go to the near toilet to your own business 1st be 4 you step in my house. My house toilet is run out of toilet paper and water. If you can bring some water bottle with water when you are here.
You have a drink have turn around table with cock tail 1 cup1/8 of 7/8 of tap C.
You have rou gan (肉干) but sliced to 1cm by 1cm, but you can eat 1 pic only not 2.
You can sausages too, you do not mind take your own sausage to barbeue it.
Sorry My house floor make golden plate. So you can not stand or either to sit. Use your head.
That's past of the training at my house to do standing stance. You are our futur Comply COE (C ho e).
My house there's not electricity power to watch TV. If you 1 2 you can pedals the generator. So you can watch TV training for your legs.
You can huo guo at my house 2, but when you on e way pick some stick, as you know we do not use electricity power. Have to use wooden stick for fire.
Due to Economic not so Good this years.
This coming Chinese New Year, you all still can welcome to My Ang Ka Ka house.
When you coming inside, you must bring 2 orange.
When on the way to my house, please go to the near toilet to your own business 1st be 4 you step in my house. My house toilet is run out of toilet paper and water. If you can bring some water bottle with water when you are here.
You have a drink have turn around table with cock tail 1 cup1/8 of 7/8 of tap C.
You have rou gan (肉干) but sliced to 1cm by 1cm, but you can eat 1 pic only not 2.
You can sausages too, you do not mind take your own sausage to barbeue it.
Sorry My house floor make golden plate. So you can not stand or either to sit. Use your head.
That's past of the training at my house to do standing stance. You are our futur Comply COE (C ho e).
My house there's not electricity power to watch TV. If you 1 2 you can pedals the generator. So you can watch TV training for your legs.
You can huo guo at my house 2, but when you on e way pick some stick, as you know we do not use electricity power. Have to use wooden stick for fire.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Some Ans. From she
IMPORTANT:You are allowed to submit your test answers ONCE ONLY! Please answer them carefully.
1. Have you ever missed a deadline or failed to complete a task that others expected you to complete? (If yes) How did you feel about that? Why did you feel that way?
Ya... sometime... felt bad lor.. try to make it up.. :) coz i dun like to disappoint ppl...
2. How do you think the success of this position should be defined and evaluated?
for mi now is not success.. coz i am rotting instead of doing wat i shd do and have to do.. :)
so no success... haha...
3. The aim of any company is to create satisfied customers. In the past what have you done to guarantee that customers were always satisfied? Can you give me a specific example?
Ya. kanna scolding also can not talk back.. den must smile and let them scold until they happi... like my manager lor.. keep mood swing den i got to give in to her.. but scolding her back in my heart.. :p
4. Your boss assigns you to projects and leaves you to tie up the details and loose ends, including keeping the team up to date and gathering their input. How do you feel about this?
i am ok with it.. coz at the least i got something to do and to keep myself busy.. i hate being left alone there and nothing to do.. :)
Cheers
1. Have you ever missed a deadline or failed to complete a task that others expected you to complete? (If yes) How did you feel about that? Why did you feel that way?
Ya... sometime... felt bad lor.. try to make it up.. :) coz i dun like to disappoint ppl...
2. How do you think the success of this position should be defined and evaluated?
for mi now is not success.. coz i am rotting instead of doing wat i shd do and have to do.. :)
so no success... haha...
3. The aim of any company is to create satisfied customers. In the past what have you done to guarantee that customers were always satisfied? Can you give me a specific example?
Ya. kanna scolding also can not talk back.. den must smile and let them scold until they happi... like my manager lor.. keep mood swing den i got to give in to her.. but scolding her back in my heart.. :p
4. Your boss assigns you to projects and leaves you to tie up the details and loose ends, including keeping the team up to date and gathering their input. How do you feel about this?
i am ok with it.. coz at the least i got something to do and to keep myself busy.. i hate being left alone there and nothing to do.. :)
Cheers
Friday, January 16, 2009
Change in company policy
Change our Company Policy
Dear employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy,
Our Management has decided to implement a scheme toput workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to beeligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After ForcedTermination) .
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED willbe reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering RetiredEarly Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice andSCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.Persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional IncomeFor Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for RetiredPersonnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who got AIDS orHERPES is not eligible to be SHAFTed or SCREWed any more.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive asmuch SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHITit gives employees. S
hould you feel that you do not receiveenough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor.
They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
(Computer generated Notice. No Signature is required).
Dear employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy,
Our Management has decided to implement a scheme toput workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to beeligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After ForcedTermination) .
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED willbe reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering RetiredEarly Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice andSCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.Persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional IncomeFor Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for RetiredPersonnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who got AIDS orHERPES is not eligible to be SHAFTed or SCREWed any more.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive asmuch SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHITit gives employees. S
hould you feel that you do not receiveenough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor.
They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
(Computer generated Notice. No Signature is required).
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
