一年级小朋友的作文...囧

一年级小朋友的作文，吐死无数老师


星期一到了……小英在交完作业後，中午马上被老师叫去罚站，附加念500遍「我以後不
敢编谎话欺骗老师了」。
why？何这名老师要残忍的对待这名柔弱的小学生？我们来瞧瞧她的作文是怎麽写的……

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星期日
　　今天是礼拜日，虽然昨天去海洋公园玩到晚上11:00多，可是今天我们起了个大
早，就到海洋公园旁边的太平山去摘水果，因为奶奶跟爷爷就住在太平山。

　我们到了太平山下後，就鞋子脱了开始爬山，大约1分钟就到山顶了。山顶上的空气
很好，爷爷带我们去他的果园。

　　哇……爷爷的果园好大，种了好多果树，有西瓜树、草莓树、菠萝树……因为我太小
了爬不上树，爷爷就爬上西瓜树，摘了一颗最大的西瓜丢给爸爸，爸爸用一只手就接
起来了！

　　果园还有很多长在地上的水果，像苹果、梨子、椰子等等……爷爷摘了一些椰
子，用手把椰子皮剥掉，去籽，然後分给每个人吃。椰子好好吃喔！我吃了20几
个。表弟还拿椰子丢我的脸，痛死了！

　　吃完了水果大餐，我们到太平山旁边的喜玛拉雅山去玩，听老师说喜玛拉雅山是
世界上最高的山。
果然老师没有骗我们，我跟表弟爬呀爬，大概爬了2分钟才到山顶，我热死了。

　後来我们还是觉得很热，就到山顶泡温泉。好冰凉的温泉哦～喜玛拉雅山真是个好
地方。

　　後来表弟问我有没有钱，他看到山顶附近有卖麦当劳。死表弟，每次都跟我借
钱！

　　我们还在买的时候，听到妈妈在太平山那里喊我们回家，只好依依不舍的走了太
平山跟喜玛拉雅山真是个好玩的地方，我以後还要叫爸爸、妈妈带我们来玩。

　　爸爸说如果这次考试，我第一名，这个星期日，他还要带我去东京、北京、南京
去玩，我最想去西京，因为我表妹就住在西京。

　　她说其实课本是骗人的，西京有比喜玛拉雅山更高的山，大概要爬3分钟，上面还
有很大的夜市跟儿童乐园，还有清澈的小溪。

　　我一定要好好用功然後叫爸爸带我去这些地方玩。

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导师评语：

内容矛盾百出　极尽夸大之能事
不知所云　乃本人教书20馀年来所未曾见
下次请务必注意

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这次老师又要求交600字的游记，有了上回的经验，小英不敢再乱写了，确确实实地把
周日父亲带他去动植物公园的情况写下来。

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星期日

今天早上爸爸带我们全家去动植物公园，沿路上蝉声一直吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱
吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱吱，叫个不停，感觉很舒服。

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导师评语：

内容属实　能一改前非
但全篇用了五百多个「吱」字
乃本人教书20馀年来所未曾见
下次请务必注意

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老师这回也学乖了，怕学生乱写一通，要求再交600字的游记但要提出一天中的学习心
得，小英这回和妈妈爬山回来很小心地查阅课本，终於发现有一件事验证了课本的知
识很高兴地写下来交给老师。

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星期日

　　今天和妈妈去爬山，到了山顶，妈妈说安静的山间会有回音喔。

　　我和弟弟一起试着大叫━━「你好吗」

　　果然大约三秒之後就听到：

你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你
好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好
吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你
好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗
你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好
吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你
好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好
吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你
好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好
吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你
好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗你好吗你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗　你好
吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗你好吗　你好吗
你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗　你好吗
　　一个字都没变，课本说的音波反射，我终於体会到了。真是有意义的一天。
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导师评语：
能从中学习　为师十分高兴
但全篇共用约二百句「你好吗」
乃本人教书20馀年来所未曾见
下次请务必注意
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话说老师对小英的偷懒式作文不能苟同，不再出游记式作文，想想如何激发小英作文
潜能，便再出一道：
　　　　　　《最难忘的一件事》
小英咬着铅笔作出努力思考样，终於下笔疾书，交出後自忖：老师应该不会再处罚我
了，不禁面露傻笑。

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　　上星期五放学回家时，在我家门前看见一沱大便，当时我吃了一斤：「谁这麽缺
德，在我家门前拉大便。」
　　我赶快叫姊姊出来，姊姊看了也吃了一斤，破囗道：「真没公德心！这麽没水
准！」姊姊叫我拿扫把一起扫掉。
　　妈妈知道後也出来看，同样也吃了一斤，叫道：「作孽喔！」
　爸爸听到妈妈的叫声赶快出来看个究竟，也吃了一斤。「谁干的？」
　　邻居王妈妈刚买菜回来，看了也吃了一斤。王伯伯、王小明出来看也都吃了一
斤，不一会儿聚集了十多人，大家都吃了一斤，最後打119，消防队员们在吃了一斤後
总算把那沱大便给清除了，真是最难忘的一件事。
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导师评语：
有进步
要注意错别字　是「吃了一惊」　不是「吃了一斤」
这沱大便总共有二十来斤　哪个人有这本事？

If you see this spider.. kill it FAST

This spider is now in S'pore grounds & it's poisonous........
Beware !!!!!........
When you see this spider - kill it immediately with something, not bare hands.
Have any one of you heard of or seen this spider?
Happening in Singapore !!!!!
Take note it's around the house.....and anywhere !!!

Pls note that this poisonous-spider ( attached pictures) was reported on

1st May 2008 - on channel 8
It's commonly found in Brazil , but somehow it made its way here in S'pore.
An English man was recently bitten by it but unfortunately, they freed the spider,
not knowing that it's poisonous !

Asparagus no. 1 medicine for Cancer -

Asparagus no. 1 medicine for Cancer -

Three types of asparagus on a shop display, with white asparagus at the back

and green asparagus in the middle. The plant at the front is Ornithogalum
pyrenaicum, is commonly called wild asparagus,


Several years ago, I had a man seeking asparagus for a friend who had
cancer. He gave me a photocopied copy of an article, entitled, `Asparagus
for cancer! ' printed in Cancer News Journal, December 1979.

I will share it here, just as it was shared with me: 'I am a
biochemist, and have specialized in the relation of diet to health for over
50 years.

Several years ago, I learned of the discovery of Richard R. Vensal,
D.D.S. that asparagus might cure cancer. Since then, I have worked with him
on his project. We have accumulated a number of favourable case histories.
Here are a few examples:


Case No. 1,
A man with an almost hopeless case of Hodgkin's disease (cancer of

the lymph glands) who was completely incapacitated. Within 1 year of
starting the asparagus therapy, his doctors were unable to detect any signs
of cancer, and he was back on a schedule of strenuous exercise.
Case No. 2,
A successful businessman 68 years old who suffered from cancer of
the bladder for 16 years. After years of medical treatments, including
radiation without improvement, he went on asparagus. Within 3 months,
examinations revealed that his bladder tumor had disappeared and that his
kidneys were normal.

Case No. 3,
A man who had lung cancer. On March 5th 1971, he was put on the
operating table where they found lung cancer so widely spread that it was
inoperable. The surgeon sewed him up and declared his case hopeless. On
April 5th he heard about the asparagus therapy and immediately started
taking it. By August, x-ray pictures revealed that all signs of the cancer
had disappeared. He is back at his regular business routine. *


*Case No. 4,
A woman who was troubled for a number of years with skin cancer.
She finally developed different skin cancers which were diagnosed by asking
specialist as advanced. Within 3 months afte! r starting on asparagus, her
skin specialist said that her skin looked fine and no more skin lesions.
This woman reported that the asparagus therapy also cured her kidney
disease, which started in 1949. She had over 10 operations for kidney
stones, and was receiving government disability payments for an inoperable,
terminal, kidney condition. She attributes the cure of this kidney trouble
entirely to the asparagus.

I was not surprised at this result, as `The elements of Materia
Medica', edited in 1854 by a Professor at the University of Pennsylvania ,
stated that asparagus was used as a popular remedy for kidney stones. He
even referred to experiments, in 1739, on the power of asparagus in
dissolving stones.

We would have other case histories but the medical establishment
has interfered with our obtaining some of the records. I am there! fore
appealing to readers to spread this good news and help us to gather a large
number of case histories that will overwhelm the medical skeptics about this

unbelievably simple and natural remedy. For the treatment, asparagus should
be cooked before using, and therefore canned asparagus is just as good as
fresh.

I have corresponded with the two leading canners of asparagus,
Giant Giant and Stokely, and I am satisfied that these brands contain no
pesticides or preservatives.

* * PROCEDURE:
1) Place the cooked asparagus in a blender and liquefy to make a puree, and
store in the refrigerator.

2) Give the patient 4 full tablespoons twice daily, morning and evening.

Patients usually show some improvement in from 2 -4 weeks. It can

be diluted with water and used as a cold or hot drink. This suggested dosage

is based on present experience, but certainly larger amounts can do no harm
and may be needed in some cases.

As a biochemist I am convinced of the old saying that `what cures

can prevent'. Based on this theory, my wife and I have been using asparagus
puree as a beverage with our meals. We take 2 tablespoons diluted in water
to suit our taste with breakfast and with dinner. I take mine hot and my
wife prefers hers cold.

For years we have made it a practice to have blood surveys taken

as part of our regular checkups.

The last blood survey, taken by a medical doctor who specializes

in the nutritional approach to health, showed substantial improvements i! n
all categories over the last one, and we can attribute these improvements to

nothing but the asparagus drink...

As a biochemist, I have made an extensive study of all aspects
of cancer, and all of the proposed cures. As a result, I am convinced that
asparagus fits in better with the latest theories about cancer. Asparagus
contains a good supply of protein called histones, which are believed to be
active in controlling cell growth. For that reason, I believe asparagus can
be said to contain a substance that I call cell growth normalizer. That
accounts for its action on cancer and inacting as a general body tonic. In
any event, regardless of theory, asparagus used as we suggest, is a harmless

substance.

The FDA cannot prevent you from using it and it may do you much
good.. It has been reported by the US National Cancer Institute, that
asparagus is the highes! t tested food containing glutathione, which is
considered one of the b ody's most potent anticarcinogens and antioxidants.

Please spread the news...

.the most unselfish act one can ever do is paying forward all the kindness
one has received even to the most undeserved person *

you all must see! about maid abusing kid.

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=64592

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I also know how to write inside the computer by use pen only ma.
Don't just thinks you all the only want can write inside the computer.
This is a computer man very early to use!
Just turn OFF and ON switch only man!
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You can get from me, I give Special $.
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Do let me know!
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Sorry No Assembly,
I only know how disassembly inside the computer. Not out side the computer!

12 quick tips for boosting your happiness at work

Of course, being happy at work depends mostly on how much you like your job. But there are also smaller steps that can boost your happiness, as well -- partly by boosting your physical comfort and your productivity.

Some of these steps are VERY small, but the fact that you’re taking steps to improve your situation itself boosts happiness.

1. Check for eyestrain by putting your hand to your forehead in a salute. If your eyes feel relieved, your work space is too bright.

2. Sit up straight with your shoulders down — every time I adjust my sitting position, I instantly feel more energetic and cheerier.

3. Get a phone headset. I resisted for a long time, because it looks so preposterous, but it’s really much more comfortable. Also, it lets me pace while I talk on the phone, which also looks preposterous, but is energizing.

4. Don’t keep candy on your desk. Studies show that people are much more likely to snack when a treat is within easy reach, and a handful of M&Ms each day could mean a weight gain of five pounds by year’s end.

5. Never say “yes” on the phone; instead, say, “I’ll get back to you.” When you’re actually speaking to someone, the desire to be accommodating is very strong, and can lead you to say “yes” without enough consideration. Along the same lines…

6. When deciding whether to say “yes,” imagine that you’re accepting a job that you’ll have to do next week. Don’t agree to something just because it seems so far off that it doesn’t seem onerous.

7. Don’t let yourself get too hungry. My husband goes without eating for hours and hours at a time, so once, trying to be helpful, I bought him a big bag of granola to keep in his desk. He ate the whole bag in one day and ended up sick as a dog. Lesson: eat regularly.

8. Take care of difficult calls, tasks, or emails as quickly as possible. Procrastinating makes them harder; getting them done gives a big boost of relieved energy.

9. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, think hard about how you spend your time. Be honest. How much time do you spend surfing the internet, looking for things you’ve misplaced, or doing a task that’s really someone else’s job? Also…

10. Let yourself stay ignorant of things you don’t need to know.

11. Go outside at least once a day, and if possible, take a walk. The sunlight and activity is good for your focus, mood, and retention of information.

12. Say “Good morning” to everyone. Social contact is cheering, and if you feel that you’re on good terms with all the people in your office, you’ll be happier each day. Also, it’s polite.

PRE-ALERT: 22 July 2009 another Tsunami..

Check this web site:
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090415/tap-504-email-hoax-earthquake-tsunami-as-231650b.html
I dont think so it happen to SG.

Got this from a friend, pls share.
>
> Please be more cautious as the warnings has been given.
>
> Attached a photo for u.
>
> [cid:image001.jpg@01C9B83B.51321DF0]
> I just received this message from a colleague. I don’t know the source of the message; I also don’t know the credibility of the content, but just beware.
>
> Below is the content on the message:
>
> “Hello there. I just wanted 2 let you know that please stay away from the beaches all around in the month of July. There is a prediction that there will be another tsunami hitting on July 22nd. It is also when there will be sun eclipse. Predicted that it is going 2 be really bad and countries like Malaysia (Sabah & Sarawak), Singapore, Maldives, Australia, Mauritius, Si Lanka, India, Indonesia, Philippines are going 2 be badly hit. Please try and stay away from the beaches in July. Better 2 be safe than sorry. Please pass the word around. Please also pray for all beings.”