For all you travellers, something to think about.
>
> This is pretty good info. Never even thought about key cards containing
> anything other than an access code for the room!
> >
> > HOTEL KEY CARDS
> >
> > Ever wonder what is on your magnetic key card?
> >
> > Answer:
> > a. Customer's name
> > b. Customer's partial home address
> > c. Hotel room number
> > d. Check-in date and out dates
> > e. Customer's credit card number and expiration date!
> >
> > When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is
> > there for any employee to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel
> > scanner. An employee can take a handful of cards home and using a
> > scanning device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go
> > shopping at your expense.
> >
> > Simply put, hotels do not erase the information on these cards until an
> > employee reissues the card to the next hotel guest. At that time, the new
> > guest's information is electronically 'overwritten' on the card and the
> > previous guest's information is erased in the overwriting process.
> >
> > But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it usually is kept in
> > a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!
> >
> > The bottom line is: Keep the cards, take them home with you, or destroy
> > them. NEVER leave them behind in the room or room wastebasket, and NEVER
> > turn them into the front desk when you check out of a room. They will not
> > charge you for the card (it's illegal) and you'll be sure you are not
> > leaving a lot of valuable personal information on it that could be easily
> > lifted off with any simple scanning device card reader.
> >
> > For the same reason, if you arrive at the airport and discover you still
> > have the card key in your pocket, do not toss it in an airport trash
> > basket. Take it home and destroy it by cutting it up, especially through
> > the electronic information strip!
> >
> > If you have a small magnet, pass it across the magnetic strip several
> > times. Then try it in the door, it will not work. It erases everything on
> > the card.
Friday, February 27, 2009
This is *the **WRONG* method of cooking the instant noodles
Friends, please see the correct way of cooking instant noodles.
*"COR RECT WAY OF COOKING NOODLES"*
The correct way to cook instant noodles without harming our bodies and
health. `Normally, how we cook the instant noodles is to put the noodles
into a pot with water, throw in the powder and let it cook for around 3
minutes and then it's ready to eat.
This is *the **WRONG* method of cooking the instant noodles.
By doing this, when we actually boil the ingredients in the powder, normally
with MSG, it will change the molecular structures of the MSG causing it to
be toxic.
The other thing that you may or may not realize is that, the noodles are
coated with wax (lilin) and it will take around 4 to 5 days for the
body to excrete
the wax after you have taken the noodles.*
CORRECT** **METHOD* :
1. boil the noodles in a pot with water.
2. once the noodles is cooked, take out the noo dles, and* **throw* *away the
water which contains wax(lilin)**.*
3. boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into the hot
boiling water and then shut the fire.
4. only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot,
put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
5. however, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles and add the
ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.
Please share this info and help save a life.
*"COR RECT WAY OF COOKING NOODLES"*
The correct way to cook instant noodles without harming our bodies and
health. `Normally, how we cook the instant noodles is to put the noodles
into a pot with water, throw in the powder and let it cook for around 3
minutes and then it's ready to eat.
This is *the **WRONG* method of cooking the instant noodles.
By doing this, when we actually boil the ingredients in the powder, normally
with MSG, it will change the molecular structures of the MSG causing it to
be toxic.
The other thing that you may or may not realize is that, the noodles are
coated with wax (lilin) and it will take around 4 to 5 days for the
body to excrete
the wax after you have taken the noodles.*
CORRECT** **METHOD* :
1. boil the noodles in a pot with water.
2. once the noodles is cooked, take out the noo dles, and* **throw* *away the
water which contains wax(lilin)**.*
3. boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into the hot
boiling water and then shut the fire.
4. only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot,
put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
5. however, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles and add the
ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.
Please share this info and help save a life.
TRY 100PLUS & WATER - NOT PANADOL
Dear all,
Not sure how true is the fact provided below but one thing for sure, any
medicines taken too much, too frequently is not good for our liver.
================================================================
Received this from a friend. Pls pass on if you care:
My husband is working in a hospital as an IT engineer and the hospital
is planning to set up a database of its patients. And he knows some of
the doctors quite well.
The doctors used to tell him that whenever they have a headache, they
are not willing to tak e PANADOL (PARACETMOL).. In fact, they will turn to
Chinese Herbal Medicine or find other alternatives.
This is because Panadol is toxic to the body, and it harms the liver.
According to the doctors, Panadol will reside in the body for at least
5 years. And according to the doctors, there used to be an incident
where an air stewardess consumes a lot of panadol during her menstrual as
she needs to stand all the time. She's now in her early 30's, and she
needs to wash her kidney (DIALYSIS) every month.
As said by the doctors that whenever we have a headache, that's
because it is due to the electron/Ion imbalance in the brain.
As an alternative solution to cope with this matter, they suggest that
we buy 1 or 2 cans of isotonic drink (i.e. 100 PLUS), and mix it with
drinking water according to a ratio of 1:1 or 1:2 (simply, it means
one cup 100 plus to one cup water, or to 2 cups water).
My husband and I have tried this on several occasions, and it seems to
work well.
Another method will be to submerge your feet in a basin of warm water
so that it brings the blood pressure down from your throbbing he ad.
As Panadol is a pain killer, the more Panadol you take, the lesser
would be your threshold for pain (your endurance level for pain).
We all will fall ill as we age, for women, we would need to go through
childbirth. Imagine that we have spent our entire life popping quite a
substantial amount of Panadol (Pain Killer) when you need to have a
surgery or operation, you will need a much more amount of general
anesthetic to numb your surgical pain than the average person who
seldom or rarely takes Panadol.
If you have a very high intake of Panadol throughout your life
(Migraine, Menstrual cramps) it is very likely that normal general anesthetic
will have no effects on you as your body is pumped full with panadol and
your body is so used to pain killer that you would need a much stronger
pain killer, Morphine???
Value your life, THINK b4 you easily pop that familiar pill into your
mouth again. Please send this to people you care about.
Not sure how true is the fact provided below but one thing for sure, any
medicines taken too much, too frequently is not good for our liver.
================================================================
Received this from a friend. Pls pass on if you care:
My husband is working in a hospital as an IT engineer and the hospital
is planning to set up a database of its patients. And he knows some of
the doctors quite well.
The doctors used to tell him that whenever they have a headache, they
are not willing to tak e PANADOL (PARACETMOL).. In fact, they will turn to
Chinese Herbal Medicine or find other alternatives.
This is because Panadol is toxic to the body, and it harms the liver.
According to the doctors, Panadol will reside in the body for at least
5 years. And according to the doctors, there used to be an incident
where an air stewardess consumes a lot of panadol during her menstrual as
she needs to stand all the time. She's now in her early 30's, and she
needs to wash her kidney (DIALYSIS) every month.
As said by the doctors that whenever we have a headache, that's
because it is due to the electron/Ion imbalance in the brain.
As an alternative solution to cope with this matter, they suggest that
we buy 1 or 2 cans of isotonic drink (i.e. 100 PLUS), and mix it with
drinking water according to a ratio of 1:1 or 1:2 (simply, it means
one cup 100 plus to one cup water, or to 2 cups water).
My husband and I have tried this on several occasions, and it seems to
work well.
Another method will be to submerge your feet in a basin of warm water
so that it brings the blood pressure down from your throbbing he ad.
As Panadol is a pain killer, the more Panadol you take, the lesser
would be your threshold for pain (your endurance level for pain).
We all will fall ill as we age, for women, we would need to go through
childbirth. Imagine that we have spent our entire life popping quite a
substantial amount of Panadol (Pain Killer) when you need to have a
surgery or operation, you will need a much more amount of general
anesthetic to numb your surgical pain than the average person who
seldom or rarely takes Panadol.
If you have a very high intake of Panadol throughout your life
(Migraine, Menstrual cramps) it is very likely that normal general anesthetic
will have no effects on you as your body is pumped full with panadol and
your body is so used to pain killer that you would need a much stronger
pain killer, Morphine???
Value your life, THINK b4 you easily pop that familiar pill into your
mouth again. Please send this to people you care about.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Y i not invited
HI All
I hear that they have BBQ @ Lim Chu Kang CC.
I'm so angry and upset. It heal my heart and my mi mi.
How come I am not invited?
I know that i'm the dog!
I can do let u doggy 4 me.
Any things u 1 2 do!
Just let joint in BBQ @ Lim Chu Kang CC.
By the way ur BBQ stuff, if u all 1 2 get just let me know.
I have very special price, ur out side retail shop d'nt give tis price.
Special antail i can lit ur ass.
I hear that they have BBQ @ Lim Chu Kang CC.
I'm so angry and upset. It heal my heart and my mi mi.
How come I am not invited?
I know that i'm the dog!
I can do let u doggy 4 me.
Any things u 1 2 do!
Just let joint in BBQ @ Lim Chu Kang CC.
By the way ur BBQ stuff, if u all 1 2 get just let me know.
I have very special price, ur out side retail shop d'nt give tis price.
Special antail i can lit ur ass.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Cow Joke of the year
Happy New Year and hope this
Cow joke will bring loads of Joy for 2009 !
Got two cows
TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them
World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you
don't know where they are.
You break for lunch..
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0..60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.
And last but not least,
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
We have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.
Cow joke will bring loads of Joy for 2009 !
Got two cows
TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them
World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you
don't know where they are.
You break for lunch..
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0..60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.
And last but not least,
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
We have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Two Year Degree Course
BECOMING A MAN - TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be
interested in:
Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a
real man as well as earn an MA degree. (Male Arts)
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
MEN 101: Combating Stupidity
MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under Things
for Christmas
Winter Schedule:
MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception
EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A: What’s Hers is Hers
Spring Schedule:
MEN 120: How NOT to Act like an arse when you’re
Wrong
MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex
MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
SE#X 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SE#X 102: Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
SE#X 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex
(Elective) (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:
MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver
MEN 213: Honest, You Don’t Look Like Brad Pitt
MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are
Important
Spring Schedule:
MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary
MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions
MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II
Course Electives:
EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu
EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law
MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233: Just Say “Yes, Dear”
ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her
Just a thought for all the women out there.
1 MENtal Illness
2 MENstrual cramps
3 MENtal breakdown
4 MENopause
5 GUYnocologist (poetic spelling)
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?
Send this to all women you know (and men with a sense of humour) and brighten up
their day!!…. and when we have real trouble, it’s a HISterectomy
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be
interested in:
Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a
real man as well as earn an MA degree. (Male Arts)
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
MEN 101: Combating Stupidity
MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under Things
for Christmas
Winter Schedule:
MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception
EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A: What’s Hers is Hers
Spring Schedule:
MEN 120: How NOT to Act like an arse when you’re
Wrong
MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex
MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
SE#X 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SE#X 102: Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
SE#X 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex
(Elective) (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:
MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver
MEN 213: Honest, You Don’t Look Like Brad Pitt
MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are
Important
Spring Schedule:
MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary
MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions
MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II
Course Electives:
EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu
EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law
MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233: Just Say “Yes, Dear”
ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her
Just a thought for all the women out there.
1 MENtal Illness
2 MENstrual cramps
3 MENtal breakdown
4 MENopause
5 GUYnocologist (poetic spelling)
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?
Send this to all women you know (and men with a sense of humour) and brighten up
their day!!…. and when we have real trouble, it’s a HISterectomy
Who mistake!
Something to make your Day worse....
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style!
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an New path!
If a engineer makes a mistake ,
It is a new venture
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation!
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law!
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention!
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion!
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a theory
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "Mistake"
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style!
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an New path!
If a engineer makes a mistake ,
It is a new venture
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation!
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law!
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention!
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion!
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a theory
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "Mistake"
What is politics
A son asked his father : "Dad, what is politics ?“
Dad said :-
: Look, I bring the money home, therefore I am the Capitalist
: Your mother administrates the money, therefore she is the Government
: Grandpa watches everything, therefore he is the Union
: Our maid is the Working Class
: We all want just one thing, your well-being. Therefore you are the People
: And your smaller brother who is still in his nappy, is the Future
Dad to son : Did you understand that my son?
The little one thinks, and tells his father he wanted to sleep it over for one night.
During the night the boy wakes up, because his younger brother produces something with an unbearable smell from his nappy and is crying.
As he doesn‘t know what to do, he goes into the bedroom of his parents.
But there is only his mother in her bed, and she is so fast asleep that he does not succeed in waking her up.
So he goes into the bedroom of the maid where he finds his father having fun with her, and grandpa watching them secretly through the window !!!!
All of them are so engaged that they don‘t realize that the boy is standing in front of them.
So the boy decides to go to bed again without having been able to solve the problem.
Next morning the father asks his son if he is able to explain with a few words what politics is.
"Yes" without any hesitation, the son answered:-
: The Capitalist abuses the Working Class
: The Union watches without doing anything,
: While the Government sleeps
: The People are completely ignored
: And the Future is in the shit.
That‘s politics
Dad said :-
: Look, I bring the money home, therefore I am the Capitalist
: Your mother administrates the money, therefore she is the Government
: Grandpa watches everything, therefore he is the Union
: Our maid is the Working Class
: We all want just one thing, your well-being. Therefore you are the People
: And your smaller brother who is still in his nappy, is the Future
Dad to son : Did you understand that my son?
The little one thinks, and tells his father he wanted to sleep it over for one night.
During the night the boy wakes up, because his younger brother produces something with an unbearable smell from his nappy and is crying.
As he doesn‘t know what to do, he goes into the bedroom of his parents.
But there is only his mother in her bed, and she is so fast asleep that he does not succeed in waking her up.
So he goes into the bedroom of the maid where he finds his father having fun with her, and grandpa watching them secretly through the window !!!!
All of them are so engaged that they don‘t realize that the boy is standing in front of them.
So the boy decides to go to bed again without having been able to solve the problem.
Next morning the father asks his son if he is able to explain with a few words what politics is.
"Yes" without any hesitation, the son answered:-
: The Capitalist abuses the Working Class
: The Union watches without doing anything,
: While the Government sleeps
: The People are completely ignored
: And the Future is in the shit.
That‘s politics
Solve your problem
The Best way to Escape from a Problem is to Solve it'
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what !!! take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!'
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U'VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving....
A Teacher lecturing on population:
'In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. '
A Sardar stands up- 'We must find & stop her!. '
A man: 'Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?'
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means 'U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!'
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed..
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar'.
Lawyer to Sardar: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... '
Sardar :'Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!'
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- 'What R U doing...?'
Sardar replied- ' B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar'
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says 'please recharge your card'
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, 'For Best Results put on Two Coats'
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). '
The first sardar replies, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258'
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what !!! take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!'
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U'VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving....
A Teacher lecturing on population:
'In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. '
A Sardar stands up- 'We must find & stop her!. '
A man: 'Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?'
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means 'U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!'
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed..
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar'.
Lawyer to Sardar: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... '
Sardar :'Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!'
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- 'What R U doing...?'
Sardar replied- ' B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar'
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says 'please recharge your card'
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, 'For Best Results put on Two Coats'
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). '
The first sardar replies, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258'
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Woman Words
WORDS WOMEN USE
(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument
when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five
more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are
an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless
she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking
you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**** YOU!
(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this
is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now
doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'
For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh,
cause they know it's true
(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument
when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five
more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are
an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless
she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking
you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**** YOU!
(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this
is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now
doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'
For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh,
cause they know it's true
Y lady alway to make up! u c below
WOMEN AND GOD
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live"
Upon recovery,the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home,she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
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God replied,
"I didn't recognize you."
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live"
Upon recovery,the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home,she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
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God replied,
"I didn't recognize you."
I thinks is real
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how
long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all
fine.
When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.
When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' .... no one in this world can miss you more than
that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....
Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses
your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he
is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '
If you open this you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck
for the rest of your life!!!!!
If I don't get this back I guess your not my friend. If you have a lot of love for
someone.
copy and send this to your whole list. In 5 minutes your true love will call or
message you.
Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. Something good
will happen to you at approx. 1:42pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how
long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all
fine.
When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.
When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' .... no one in this world can miss you more than
that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....
Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses
your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he
is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '
If you open this you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck
for the rest of your life!!!!!
If I don't get this back I guess your not my friend. If you have a lot of love for
someone.
copy and send this to your whole list. In 5 minutes your true love will call or
message you.
Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. Something good
will happen to you at approx. 1:42pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.
It is real story
Read the story no matter u like or dun!! like ghost story... makes you glued to your chair till the last sentence!
Prior to joining a new company, this guy A was working at boat quay area. In those tall building offices like UOB and such. His office was quite high up the level at least 30 and above. Normally he will have to stay back for OT and in the evening, all the lifts will be stopped due to security reasons. Whenever he wanted to leave, he will need to call the old security uncle to activate the lift from ground floor to his level. Then the uncle will send the lift up.. After sometime, he left the company and joined another place where his office also very high up in the building. Hence if do OT, also need to call uncle to send lift up. Then it came the day that he's working OT for the first time at the new place. He stayed back till 12 plus am and when he's about to leave, he called the security uncle to send the lift up. After packing up he went to the lobby to wait for the lift. He waited and waited. 10 mins passed, Lift not up. He waited for another 10 mins
and call the security uncle.(S denotes security here)
A: Hello Uncle ah, have you send the lift up?
S: Yeah sent liao.
A: No leh! I been waiting for 20 mins liao leh
S: No meh? okie okie I send again. Another 5 minutes went by.. No lift came up. The guy got worried. He's the last person to leave and there's no one around. He called the uncleon his handphone again.
A: Er... Uncle ah, you sure you sent the lift up?
S: Yeah I sent it up twice liao leh.A: But I saw the lifts all on the first floor leh!
S: Aiyoh. Nevermind. I take the lift up and look for you. Again, A waited. 5 minutes passed but none of the lift are moving. Then suddenly, his hp ring.. The uncle voice was on the other side of theline sounding very weird.
S: Where are you? I am here. But I cannot find you.All this while A was staring at the display of the lifts. All at level 1..... and the uncle is here....
shit! something is not right..
A straight away chiong to the stairs and dashed down the building... When he reached ground level, he chiong to the security counter and he found out that..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
He had actually called the old security uncle in the building of his ex company and not the security uncle of his new office ^_^
He worked till seh liao and was damn blur. Feeling very pai seh, he also never call back to explain to the security uncle from the building of his ex company...
Blur cock and poor uncle! He must be the one who actually freaked out going all the way up and saw no one there hahaha!!!
Prior to joining a new company, this guy A was working at boat quay area. In those tall building offices like UOB and such. His office was quite high up the level at least 30 and above. Normally he will have to stay back for OT and in the evening, all the lifts will be stopped due to security reasons. Whenever he wanted to leave, he will need to call the old security uncle to activate the lift from ground floor to his level. Then the uncle will send the lift up.. After sometime, he left the company and joined another place where his office also very high up in the building. Hence if do OT, also need to call uncle to send lift up. Then it came the day that he's working OT for the first time at the new place. He stayed back till 12 plus am and when he's about to leave, he called the security uncle to send the lift up. After packing up he went to the lobby to wait for the lift. He waited and waited. 10 mins passed, Lift not up. He waited for another 10 mins
and call the security uncle.(S denotes security here)
A: Hello Uncle ah, have you send the lift up?
S: Yeah sent liao.
A: No leh! I been waiting for 20 mins liao leh
S: No meh? okie okie I send again. Another 5 minutes went by.. No lift came up. The guy got worried. He's the last person to leave and there's no one around. He called the uncleon his handphone again.
A: Er... Uncle ah, you sure you sent the lift up?
S: Yeah I sent it up twice liao leh.A: But I saw the lifts all on the first floor leh!
S: Aiyoh. Nevermind. I take the lift up and look for you. Again, A waited. 5 minutes passed but none of the lift are moving. Then suddenly, his hp ring.. The uncle voice was on the other side of theline sounding very weird.
S: Where are you? I am here. But I cannot find you.All this while A was staring at the display of the lifts. All at level 1..... and the uncle is here....
shit! something is not right..
A straight away chiong to the stairs and dashed down the building... When he reached ground level, he chiong to the security counter and he found out that..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
He had actually called the old security uncle in the building of his ex company and not the security uncle of his new office ^_^
He worked till seh liao and was damn blur. Feeling very pai seh, he also never call back to explain to the security uncle from the building of his ex company...
Blur cock and poor uncle! He must be the one who actually freaked out going all the way up and saw no one there hahaha!!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sardar have to say!
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
2 sardar: were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I make another one more.
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
2 sardar: were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I make another one more.
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
What I wish for this Valentine Day
Hi I Mr Canon Ball
I show you How to not spending a lot of my money not to say I Love You on this Valentine’s Day! And What I wish for you!
What wish for this Valentine’s Day inexpensively yet thoughtfully, that the sole intention of showing how much you care for me?
If you Sincere quality time spent together with me is worth more than anything you can buy without your money.
Is better if you would get me one of these. I gonna need a visa or master card. Once I see it I will always love you (Yam Yam, you can forget about Hua Hua ).
I were try to do something together you that will 'create' a cherished memory for you. I were let c my ku ku, just don’t let Hua Hua know! You know la I got bug belly, that's Y I cant c it, if you able to C it you very lucky woman!
Since you No in school la, now we have more time together to have more Immersion
How we can to suck their $!
We can give them outside outlet can't given this pieces!
So I can go back Tai Lan again! train my bug belly!
I show you How to not spending a lot of my money not to say I Love You on this Valentine’s Day! And What I wish for you!
What wish for this Valentine’s Day inexpensively yet thoughtfully, that the sole intention of showing how much you care for me?
If you Sincere quality time spent together with me is worth more than anything you can buy without your money.
Is better if you would get me one of these. I gonna need a visa or master card. Once I see it I will always love you (Yam Yam, you can forget about Hua Hua ).
I were try to do something together you that will 'create' a cherished memory for you. I were let c my ku ku, just don’t let Hua Hua know! You know la I got bug belly, that's Y I cant c it, if you able to C it you very lucky woman!
Since you No in school la, now we have more time together to have more Immersion
How we can to suck their $!
We can give them outside outlet can't given this pieces!
So I can go back Tai Lan again! train my bug belly!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Is Not you set mi!
Hello! Is not U set mi frm Sohool!
Is I e 1 set U.
I not going Relinquish n nt Renounce, stil got $ to suck.
I must suck all til it dry up b come bushfire
And i 1 2 stil stay there c any more tin 2 suck.
Sorry! My engish nt so gooood. is tea tea. 4 give me!
Is I e 1 set U.
I not going Relinquish n nt Renounce, stil got $ to suck.
I must suck all til it dry up b come bushfire
And i 1 2 stil stay there c any more tin 2 suck.
Sorry! My engish nt so gooood. is tea tea. 4 give me!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Internationals Dog Shit Training Center
What types Internationals Dog Shit Training Center are U all have.
I’m having three ton shit u know. And now u asks four Tons of shits.
Now I hardly shit another Ton out.
It takes some training and experience to shit out one Ton more.
Is my ambition and volunteer to be presenters for the Yo Yo Opposite sex Games event.
Provided u give me $ la! So I go back Tai Lan train my big belly.
By the way can I borrow your mirror!
You know la! Without mirror I can’t find where I keep Ku Ku. It hide some where there!
I’m having three ton shit u know. And now u asks four Tons of shits.
Now I hardly shit another Ton out.
It takes some training and experience to shit out one Ton more.
Is my ambition and volunteer to be presenters for the Yo Yo Opposite sex Games event.
Provided u give me $ la! So I go back Tai Lan train my big belly.
By the way can I borrow your mirror!
You know la! Without mirror I can’t find where I keep Ku Ku. It hide some where there!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
How to Reset Your N95
How to Reset Your N95
t! The soft format code for most S60 devices is *#7370#,
if that doesn’t work you can try the hard reset:
1. Switch off the phone.
2. Hold down the following three buttons: Green (call answer) button,
* button, and ‘3′ button
3. While holding these buttons, press the power button and switch on the phone
4. When the message ‘Formatting’ appears on the screen, release all of the buttons Wish you’d never use it. But just in case…
t! The soft format code for most S60 devices is *#7370#,
if that doesn’t work you can try the hard reset:
1. Switch off the phone.
2. Hold down the following three buttons: Green (call answer) button,
* button, and ‘3′ button
3. While holding these buttons, press the power button and switch on the phone
4. When the message ‘Formatting’ appears on the screen, release all of the buttons Wish you’d never use it. But just in case…
Y u dnt nd my dog shit help!
That days I d ask you whether u nd my dog shit help or not!
U just ans mi back is NO!.
O! No! u hurt my heart and my mi mi!
My heart had broken 2 2. 1 i eat myself n eother my dog eat.
How cn u do tat 2 me!
Pls let do any tin u 1!
Even lip ur ass n let u do doggy.U cn use billy po my ass.
Cos Im e best in SG, JB n BP. No! 1 cn do it better than mi.
Tat's Y they cal mi as Doggy. I'm nly 1 cn do tat!
If u dnt 1 mi do it coz of my big belly!. Im going put on e bulletin for u(sweet heart) n write 2 MML n SDF.
If again my mi mi, is also agian my MML n SDF.
SO Dnt try b funny ok!
May my force of bible(神经) b wit U!
U just ans mi back is NO!.
O! No! u hurt my heart and my mi mi!
My heart had broken 2 2. 1 i eat myself n eother my dog eat.
How cn u do tat 2 me!
Pls let do any tin u 1!
Even lip ur ass n let u do doggy.U cn use billy po my ass.
Cos Im e best in SG, JB n BP. No! 1 cn do it better than mi.
Tat's Y they cal mi as Doggy. I'm nly 1 cn do tat!
If u dnt 1 mi do it coz of my big belly!. Im going put on e bulletin for u(sweet heart) n write 2 MML n SDF.
If again my mi mi, is also agian my MML n SDF.
SO Dnt try b funny ok!
May my force of bible(神经) b wit U!
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